So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
