i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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