if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
