Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Dicks are not precious.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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