So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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