Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize