Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
