i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
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