Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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