where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Small penises have feelings too.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
