so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
