Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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