I think I just saw someone hide a body.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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