I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
