I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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