Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
