your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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