i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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