everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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