guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
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