Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
