You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
