haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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