i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Shame - the story of my life.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
