I have demons in me.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
