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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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