Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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