haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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