we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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