I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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