why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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