White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
