you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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