i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
