I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
