her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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