you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
