Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
