At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
