is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
