Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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