Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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