I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
