I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
