Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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