fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
you would pick up someone in the library
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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