Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
