I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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