No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
