Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
