You're my little dorito
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
