Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
