If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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