No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
