just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
