Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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