True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
