I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize