Don't you send me to vm
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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