So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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